{"id":476,"date":"2010-03-21T10:24:18","date_gmt":"2010-03-21T09:24:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.vagus.cz\/?p=476"},"modified":"2013-03-26T16:50:02","modified_gmt":"2013-03-26T15:50:02","slug":"ja-vas-vsechny-prechciju","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.vagus.cz\/?p=476","title":{"rendered":"J\u00e1 v\u00e1s v\u0161echny p\u0159ech\u010diju!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Jisk\u0159iv\u00fd sn\u00edh v metropoli je v pdachu! Odkryta jsou hovna v m\u00edstech, kam serou psi. Pohled na tuto bohatou nad\u00edlku, kter\u00e1 se skr\u00fdvala pod sn\u011bhem, mi znovu evokoval romantick\u00e9 \u00favahy o V\u00e1noc\u00edch. Ty byly kr\u00e1sn\u00e9 jako princezna (a jako V\u011bdec). Zvl\u00e1\u0161t\u011b pro m\u011b se staly ud\u00e1lost\u00ed nev\u00fdslovn\u00e9ho v\u00fdznamu. <a href=\"http:\/\/www.vagus.cz\/?tag=vedec\" target=\"_blank\">V\u011bdec<\/a> m\u011b toti\u017e obda\u0159il d\u00e1rkem, kter\u00fd m\u011b vyzved\u00e1v\u00e1 ve v\u00fdvojov\u00e9 \u0159ad\u011b o n\u011bkolik stup\u0148\u016f v\u00edce &#8211; tedy pasuje m\u011b na mu\u017ee.  <\/p>\n<p><!--more-->V\u011bdec\/Princezna (jak kdo chcete) mi v\u011bnoval apartn\u00ed v\u00fdrobek z vojensk\u00e9ho \u00e9-\u00e1-\u0161opu Smrtihlav (\u201e\u00e9\u201c v n\u00e1zvu znamen\u00e1, jak jist\u011b v\u00edte, \u201eelektronick\u00fd\u201c, \u201e\u00e1\u201c v n\u00e1zvu znamen\u00e1 \u201e\u00e1rmy\u201c). Tento produkt, kter\u00fd v\u00fdrazn\u011b zlep\u0161il kvalitu m\u00e9ho \u017eivota a z\u00e1rove\u0148 pozvedl m\u00e9 sebev\u011bdom\u00ed, se ozna\u010duje jako <strong>P-MATE<\/strong>, francouzsky <strong>Pipinette<\/strong> a m\u00e1 sestra tomu \u0159\u00edk\u00e1 <strong>\u010durasak<\/strong>. Jedn\u00e1 se o divajs (nebo\u0165 jsem dar dostala od V\u011bdce, chci mu t\u00edmto vzd\u00e1t hold u\u017e\u00edv\u00e1n\u00edm v\u011bdeck\u00e9 terminologie) s l\u00e1skou vyroben\u00fd z voskovan\u00e9ho (a p\u0159esto hebk\u00e9ho a citlivou poko\u017eku nedr\u00e1\u017ed\u00edc\u00edho) materi\u00e1lu. Z n\u011bho je s umem japonsk\u00fdch mistr\u016f origami slo\u017een trycht\u00fd\u0159ek, kter\u00fd je mo\u017eno um\u00edstit mezi nohy (dle n\u00e1vodu se tato oblast naz\u00fdv\u00e1 \u201eoblast pr\u016ftoku\u201c) a vykonat tak pot\u0159ebu s gr\u00e1ci\u00ed a eleganc\u00ed mu\u017ee.  <\/p>\n<p>Vzhledem k tomu, \u017ee tento dar vyb\u00edz\u00ed k praktick\u00e9mu vyu\u017eit\u00ed a jisk\u0159iv\u00fd sn\u00edh l\u00e1kal, nezb\u00fdvalo ne\u017e vyrazit do Stromovky. R\u00e1no jsem uva\u0159ila litr urologick\u00e9ho \u010daje, kter\u00fd jsem zapila p\u016fllitrem hole\u0161ovick\u00e9 kohoutkovky. A s Pipinettou v kapse vyrazila vst\u0159\u00edc panensky b\u00edl\u00fdm pl\u00e1n\u00edm. Rozhodla jsem se zv\u011b\u010dnit do sn\u011bhu Stromovky sv\u00e9 jm\u00e9no, nebo\u0165 <strong>KZ<\/strong> je pro tento \u00fa\u010del v\u00edce ne\u017e vyhovuj\u00edc\u00ed. <\/p>\n<p>Abych Freudovi nakopala prdel co nejv\u00edce, obl\u00e9kla jsem si pro tuto p\u0159\u00edle\u017eitost apartn\u00ed p\u00e1nsk\u00e9 tren\u00fdrky, kter\u00e9 se mnou Ji\u0159\u00ed v prv\u00e1ku bl\u00e1hov\u011b vym\u011bnil (b\u016fhv\u00edpro\u010d) za \u010depici. Aplikovala jsem skrz tren\u00fdrkov\u00fd poklopec Pipinettu na oblast pr\u016ftoku, podle n\u00e1vodu uvolnila p\u00e1nevn\u00ed svalstvo a nechala p\u0159\u00edrodu ud\u011blat zbytek (rovn\u011b\u017e podle n\u00e1vodu). Po n\u011bkolika k\u0159e\u010dovit\u00fdch pokusech p\u0159i\u0161lo k\u00fd\u017een\u00e9 uvoln\u011bn\u00ed a hrd\u011b jsem se tak zv\u011b\u010dnila (alespo\u0148 do oblevy) do sn\u011bhov\u00e9 podest\u00fdlky. Prach prachu. Voda vod\u011b.  <\/p>\n<p>M\u00e9 sebev\u011bdom\u00ed  se ocitlo v netu\u0161en\u00fdch v\u00fd\u0161in\u00e1ch. A\u017e do t\u00e9to chv\u00edle jsem byla schopn\u00e1 napsat jedin\u011b \u201eI\u201c a p\u0159\u00edpadn\u011b i \u201eO\u201c, kdy\u017e jsem se skute\u010dn\u011b sna\u017eila. Nyn\u00ed mezi otisky m\u00fdch bot z\u00e1\u0159ilo hrd\u00e9 <strong>KZ<\/strong>. Te\u010f ji\u017e zcela jist\u011b mohu po t\u0159ech pivech \u0161eptat chlapc\u016fm rozechv\u011bl\u00fdm hlasem: <em>\u201eUvid\u00edme se u piso\u00e1ru,\u201c<\/em> a pak d\u016frazn\u011b dodat: <em>\u201ekde v\u00e1s v\u0161echny p\u0159ech\u010diju!\u201c<\/em> <\/p>\n<div id='gallery-1' class='gallery galleryid-476 gallery-columns-3 gallery-size-thumbnail'><figure class='gallery-item'>\n\t\t\t<div class='gallery-icon landscape'>\n\t\t\t\t<a href='https:\/\/www.vagus.cz\/?attachment_id=477'><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"https:\/\/www.vagus.cz\/wp-content\/\/www\/sites\/7\/site17437\/public_html\/wp-content\/curani_01-150x150.jpg\" class=\"attachment-thumbnail size-thumbnail\" alt=\"\" sizes=\"auto, 100vw\" \/><\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/div><\/figure><figure class='gallery-item'>\n\t\t\t<div class='gallery-icon landscape'>\n\t\t\t\t<a href='https:\/\/www.vagus.cz\/?attachment_id=478'><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"https:\/\/www.vagus.cz\/wp-content\/\/www\/sites\/7\/site17437\/public_html\/wp-content\/curani_02-150x150.jpg\" class=\"attachment-thumbnail size-thumbnail\" alt=\"\" sizes=\"auto, 100vw\" \/><\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/div><\/figure><figure class='gallery-item'>\n\t\t\t<div class='gallery-icon portrait'>\n\t\t\t\t<a href='https:\/\/www.vagus.cz\/?attachment_id=479'><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"https:\/\/www.vagus.cz\/wp-content\/\/www\/sites\/7\/site17437\/public_html\/wp-content\/curani_03-150x150.jpg\" class=\"attachment-thumbnail size-thumbnail\" alt=\"\" sizes=\"auto, 100vw\" \/><\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/div><\/figure><figure class='gallery-item'>\n\t\t\t<div class='gallery-icon landscape'>\n\t\t\t\t<a href='https:\/\/www.vagus.cz\/?attachment_id=480'><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"https:\/\/www.vagus.cz\/wp-content\/\/www\/sites\/7\/site17437\/public_html\/wp-content\/curani_04-150x150.jpg\" class=\"attachment-thumbnail size-thumbnail\" alt=\"\" sizes=\"auto, 100vw\" \/><\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/div><\/figure><figure class='gallery-item'>\n\t\t\t<div class='gallery-icon landscape'>\n\t\t\t\t<a href='https:\/\/www.vagus.cz\/?attachment_id=481'><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"https:\/\/www.vagus.cz\/wp-content\/\/www\/sites\/7\/site17437\/public_html\/wp-content\/curani_05-150x150.jpg\" class=\"attachment-thumbnail size-thumbnail\" alt=\"\" sizes=\"auto, 100vw\" \/><\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/div><\/figure>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\n<p><strong>N\u00e1vod k pou\u017eit\u00ed <\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Rozev\u0159ete P-MATE, ujist\u011bte se, \u017ee dr\u017e\u00ed sv\u016fj tvar a \u017ee ho nemus\u00edte p\u0159\u00edli\u0161 ma\u010dkat. Slo\u017ete podle n\u00e1vodu na obr\u00e1zku. Nyn\u00ed m\u00e1te p\u0159ipravenou malou vani\u010dku s otv\u00edratelnou z\u00e1klopkou na konci. <\/p>\n<p>M\u00edrn\u011b si st\u00e1hn\u011bte kalhoty a vyhr\u0148te triko. Spodn\u00ed kalhotky st\u00e1hn\u011bte na jednu stranu a p\u0159ilo\u017ete v\u011bt\u0161\u00ed otvor p\u0159\u00edmo pod oblast pr\u016ftoku mezi va\u0161ima nohama. V\u011bt\u0161\u00ed otvor by m\u011bl kompletn\u011b zakr\u00fdvat va\u0161i oblast pr\u016ftoku. <\/p>\n<p>Propn\u011bte kolena a zatla\u010dte zadek dop\u0159edu, tak\u017ee \u017el\u00e1bek m\u00ed\u0159\u00ed sm\u011brem dol\u016f. Relaxujte a nechte p\u0159\u00edrodu ud\u011blat zbytek. MO\u010cTE!<\/p>\n<p><script src=\"http:\/\/connect.facebook.net\/en_US\/all.js#xfbml=1\"><\/script><fb:like href=\"http:\/\/www.vagus.cz\/?p=476\" show_faces=\"true\" width=\"450\"><\/fb:like><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Jisk\u0159iv\u00fd sn\u00edh v metropoli je v pdachu! Odkryta jsou hovna v m\u00edstech, kam serou psi. Pohled na tuto bohatou nad\u00edlku, kter\u00e1 se skr\u00fdvala pod sn\u011bhem, mi znovu evokoval romantick\u00e9 \u00favahy o V\u00e1noc\u00edch. Ty byly kr\u00e1sn\u00e9 jako princezna (a jako V\u011bdec). Zvl\u00e1\u0161t\u011b pro m\u011b se staly ud\u00e1lost\u00ed nev\u00fdslovn\u00e9ho v\u00fdznamu. V\u011bdec m\u011b toti\u017e obda\u0159il d\u00e1rkem, kter\u00fd m\u011b &hellip; <\/p>\n<p class=\"link-more\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.vagus.cz\/?p=476\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;J\u00e1 v\u00e1s v\u0161echny p\u0159ech\u010diju!&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[27,10],"tags":[26],"class_list":["post-476","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-moda-a-vztahy","category-image-je-vsechno","tag-kz"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vagus.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/476","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vagus.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vagus.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vagus.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vagus.cz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=476"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/www.vagus.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/476\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4474,"href":"https:\/\/www.vagus.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/476\/revisions\/4474"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vagus.cz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=476"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vagus.cz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=476"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vagus.cz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=476"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}