{"id":8835,"date":"2016-09-27T22:50:27","date_gmt":"2016-09-27T21:50:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.vagus.cz\/?p=8835"},"modified":"2020-11-16T16:31:23","modified_gmt":"2020-11-16T15:31:23","slug":"test-jak-dobre-znate-zavise","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.vagus.cz\/?p=8835","title":{"rendered":"Test: Jak dob\u0159e zn\u00e1te Z\u00e1vi\u0161e?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Songy znojemsk\u00e9ho minnes\u00e4ngera a \u010derstv\u00e9ho \u0161edes\u00e1tn\u00edka Z\u00e1vi\u0161e pat\u0159\u00ed do zlat\u00e9 pokladnice moravsk\u00e9 hudby. Jist\u011b ji\u017e n\u011bkdy lahodily va\u0161emu sluchu. Proto nev\u00e1hejte a otestujte si znalost jeho chytlav\u00fdch melodi\u00ed a rafinovan\u00fdch text\u016f v na\u0161em speci\u00e1ln\u00edm kv\u00edzu.<\/p>\n<p><em>UPDATE: Test byl v listopadu 2020 aktualizov\u00e1n, nebo\u0165 jsme do taj\u016f Mistrov\u00fdch p\u00edsn\u00ed pronikli je\u0161t\u011b hloub\u011bji.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><!--more--><figure id=\"attachment_8836\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-8836\" style=\"width: 490px\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\"><a href=\"https:\/\/cs.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Z%C3%A1vi%C5%A1_(zp%C4%9Bv%C3%A1k)#\/media\/File:Z%C3%A1vi%C5%A1,_26._07._2012,_Bansk%C3%A1_Bystrica.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.vagus.cz\/wp-content\/640px-Z\u00e1vi\u0161_26._07._2012_Bansk\u00e1_Bystrica.jpg\" alt=\"Autor: Erik Z\u00e1vi\u0161 T\u00f3th \u2013 Vlastn\u00ed d\u00edlo, CC BY-SA 3.0, https:\/\/commons.wikimedia.org\/w\/index.php?curid=20782591\" title=\"640px-Z\u00e1vi\u0161,_26._07._2012,_Bansk\u00e1_Bystrica\" width=\"480\" height=\"320\" class=\"size-full wp-image-8836\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.vagus.cz\/wp-content\/640px-Z\u00e1vi\u0161_26._07._2012_Bansk\u00e1_Bystrica.jpg 640w, https:\/\/www.vagus.cz\/wp-content\/640px-Z\u00e1vi\u0161_26._07._2012_Bansk\u00e1_Bystrica-300x200.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 480px) 100vw, 480px\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-8836\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Z\u00e1vi\u0161, 26. 07. 2012, Bansk\u00e1 Bystrica<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/p>\n<p><strong>1. Kolik div\u00e1k\u016f sledovalo jedin\u00e9 fotbalov\u00e9 utk\u00e1n\u00ed, ve kter\u00e9m Z\u00e1vi\u0161 kdy nastoupil?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\">a) deset<br \/>\nb) ani ne deset<br \/>\nc) osmn\u00e1ct<br \/>\nd) \u0161edes\u00e1t\u0161est<\/p>\n<p><strong>2. Jak\u00e1 \u010d\u00e1st akv\u00e1ria Z\u00e1vi\u0161e nejv\u00edce zaj\u00edm\u00e1?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\">a) rybi\u010dky<br \/>\nb) bublinky<br \/>\nc) kameny<br \/>\nd) \u0161neci<\/p>\n<p><strong>3. Z jak\u00e9ho d\u016fvodu Z\u00e1vi\u0161 reklamoval um\u011blou vag\u00ednu?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\">a) byla mu mal\u00e1<br \/>\nb) prob\u00edjela<br \/>\nc) nel\u00edbila se mu jej\u00ed barva<br \/>\nd) na\u0161el si \u017eenskou<\/p>\n<p><strong>4. Pro\u010d vlastn\u011b ror\u00fdsek chc\u00edp?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\">a) odnesla si ho Zubat\u00e1<br \/>\nb) m\u011bl v srdci r\u00e1nu krvavou<br \/>\nc) nechc\u00edp, jen m\u011bl kocovinu<br \/>\nd) nev\u00edme<\/p>\n<p><strong>5. Dopl\u0148te ver\u0161: \u201eByla donesena _____ kondom\u016f\u201c<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\">a) m\u00edsa<br \/>\nb) krabi\u010dka<br \/>\nc) ta\u0161ka od Vietnamc\u016f pln\u00e1<br \/>\nd) k\u0159titelnice pln\u00e1<\/p>\n<p><strong>6. P\u0159i\u0159a\u010fte ke ka\u017ed\u00e9mu ze Z\u00e1vi\u0161ov\u00fdch kump\u00e1n\u016f zp\u016fsob jeho smrti<\/strong>:<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\">a) druh\u00fd<br \/>\nb) p\u00e1t\u00fd<br \/>\nc) dvan\u00e1ct\u00fd<br \/>\nd) patn\u00e1ct\u00fd<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\">A) sramov\u00e1n vlakem<br \/>\nB) nep\u0159e\u017eil dom\u00e1c\u00ed sodomu<br \/>\nC) udrbal se v bordelu na l\u016f\u017eku<br \/>\nD) odpr\u00e1sknut omylem na honu<\/p>\n<p><strong>7. Jak\u00fdm zp\u016fsobem se Z\u00e1vi\u0161 omlouv\u00e1?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\">a) pozve posti\u017een\u00e9ho na pivo<br \/>\nb) zaplat\u00ed mu ko\u0159alu<br \/>\nc) to\u010d\u00ed se na balk\u00f3n\u011b<br \/>\nd) nikdy se neomlouv\u00e1<\/p>\n<p><strong>8. S k\u00fdm m\u00e1me \u0159\u00edct, \u017ee se Z\u00e1vi\u0161 v\u00e1l\u00ed, kdyby ho n\u011bkdo sh\u00e1n\u011bl?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\">a) s cik\u00e1nkou starou<br \/>\nb) s Ukrajinkou vyholenou<br \/>\nc) s Klotyldou, Matyldou a Hildou<br \/>\nd) se dv\u011bma panenkami<\/p>\n<p><strong>9. Pro\u010d nem\u016f\u017ee Z\u00e1vi\u0161 zatopit?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\">a) proto\u017ee m\u00e1 kocovinu<br \/>\nb) proto\u017ee nem\u00e1 \u010d\u00edm<br \/>\nc) proto\u017ee mu sliny z \u00fast vyt\u00e9kaj\u00ed proudem \u0161\u00edlen\u00fdm<br \/>\nd) proto\u017ee mus\u00ed koukat do stropu<\/p>\n<p><strong>10. Koho pan Klamperna NEpo\u017e\u00e1dal o sexu\u00e1ln\u00ed \u00fakon?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\">a) \u010dubku<br \/>\nb) \u0161vizdu<br \/>\nc) \u0161t\u011btku<br \/>\nd) rajdu<\/p>\n<p><strong>11. Jak\u00fd hudebn\u00ed n\u00e1stroj mrsknul n\u011bjakej vo\u0159ech z vokna?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\">a) lesn\u00ed roh<br \/>\nb) triangl<br \/>\nc) violoncello<br \/>\nd) kytaru beze strun<\/p>\n<p><strong>12. Pro\u010d by cht\u011bl Z\u00e1vi\u0161 bydlet v Citonic\u00edch?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\">a) l\u00e1k\u00e1 ho tam Ivo<br \/>\nb) poskytuj\u00ed tam levn\u00e9 sexu\u00e1ln\u00ed slu\u017eby<br \/>\nc) je tam kvalitn\u00ed cukr\u00e1rna<br \/>\nd) nev\u00ed<\/p>\n<p><strong>13. Z jak\u00e9ho d\u016fvodu je Ha\u0161i\u0161\u00e1k Bezkul\u00e1k ne\u0161\u0165astn\u00fd?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\">a) Ruda je ve v\u00fdkonu trestu<br \/>\nb) Jeliman mu zkonzumoval v\u0161echny pr\u00e1\u0161ky<br \/>\nc) Holena mu up\u0159ela pohlavn\u00ed styk<br \/>\nd) rozbil se mu magnetofonov\u00fd p\u0159ehrava\u010d<\/p>\n<p><strong>14. Kde Z\u00e1vi\u0161 nakupuje uzeniny?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\">a) v Lidlu<br \/>\nb) v Bille<br \/>\nc) na Hat\u00edch<br \/>\nd) dost\u00e1v\u00e1 je darem od Iva<\/p>\n<p><strong>15. Jak\u00e9ho druhu byla ho\u0159\u010dice, j\u00ed\u017e byla pomaz\u00e1na noha od stolu?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\">a) plnotu\u010dn\u00e1<br \/>\nb) krem\u017esk\u00e1<br \/>\nc) k\u0159enov\u00e1<br \/>\nd) neuvedeno<\/p>\n<p><strong>16. Co se skr\u00fdv\u00e1 pod n\u00e1zvem Jihlavsk\u00e9 romaneto?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\">a) krabicov\u00e9 v\u00edno<br \/>\nb) levn\u00e9 su\u0161enky<br \/>\nc) z\u00e1snuby<br \/>\nd) p\u0159\u00edjemn\u011b str\u00e1ven\u00fd \u010das v odu\u0161evn\u011bl\u00e9 spole\u010dnosti<\/p>\n<p><strong>17. Jak se jmenuje promiskuitn\u00ed Z\u00e1vi\u0161ova kamar\u00e1dka ze star\u00e9 \u0161koly, kter\u00e1 to d\u011bl\u00e1 s ka\u017ed\u00fdm?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\">a) And\u011bla<br \/>\nb) Andula<br \/>\nc) Klotylda<br \/>\nd) Matylda<\/p>\n<p>Jste si jist\u00ed? Pokud ne, m\u016f\u017eete se je\u0161t\u011b pod\u00edvat na str\u00e1nku <a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/zavismemes\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\">Z\u00e1vi\u0161 memes for Citonice teens<\/a> a aspo\u0148 n\u011bkter\u00e9 ze sv\u00fdch odpov\u011bd\u00ed si ov\u011b\u0159it.<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u0158e\u0161en\u00ed<\/strong>:<br \/>\n1a, 2c, 3b, 4d, 5a, 6 aC, bD, cB, dA, 7c, 8b, 9d, 10b, 11c, 12d, 13a, 14b, 15d, 16d, 17b (chyt\u00e1k!)<\/p>\n<p><strong>V\u00fdsledky<\/strong>:<br \/>\n<strong>17\u201313 bod\u016f<\/strong><br \/>\nJste bu\u010f zaryt\u00fd z\u00e1vomil, anebo velk\u00fd Z\u00e1vi\u0161 s\u00e1m. And\u011bla by v\u00e1m dala raz dva.<\/p>\n<p><strong>12\u20139 bod\u016f<\/strong><br \/>\nV\u00edte, co je dobr\u00e1 muzika. K pot\u011b\u0161e znojemsk\u00e9ho Z\u00e1vika.<\/p>\n<p><strong>8\u20135 bod\u016f<\/strong><br \/>\nZ\u00e1vovy ver\u0161e jsou pro v\u00e1s bu\u010f nezn\u00e1m\u00e9 \u010di pouze zapomenut\u00e9 jako znojemsk\u00e9 vlakov\u00e9 n\u00e1dra\u017e\u00ed.<\/p>\n<p><strong>4\u20130 bod\u016f<\/strong><br \/>\nNechte si vytetovat pi\u010du na \u010delo.<\/p>\n<div id=\"fb-root\"><\/div>\n<p><script src=\"http:\/\/connect.facebook.net\/en_US\/all.js#xfbml=1\"><\/script><fb:like href=\"http:\/\/www.vagus.cz\/?p=8835\" send=\"true\" font=\"\"><\/fb:like><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Songy znojemsk\u00e9ho minnes\u00e4ngera a \u010derstv\u00e9ho \u0161edes\u00e1tn\u00edka Z\u00e1vi\u0161e pat\u0159\u00ed do zlat\u00e9 pokladnice moravsk\u00e9 hudby. Jist\u011b ji\u017e n\u011bkdy lahodily va\u0161emu sluchu. Proto nev\u00e1hejte a otestujte si znalost jeho chytlav\u00fdch melodi\u00ed a rafinovan\u00fdch text\u016f v na\u0161em speci\u00e1ln\u00edm kv\u00edzu. UPDATE: Test byl v listopadu 2020 aktualizov\u00e1n, nebo\u0165 jsme do taj\u016f Mistrov\u00fdch p\u00edsn\u00ed pronikli je\u0161t\u011b hloub\u011bji.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[26],"class_list":["post-8835","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-pakultura","tag-kz"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vagus.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8835","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vagus.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vagus.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vagus.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vagus.cz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=8835"}],"version-history":[{"count":22,"href":"https:\/\/www.vagus.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8835\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11219,"href":"https:\/\/www.vagus.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8835\/revisions\/11219"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vagus.cz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=8835"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vagus.cz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=8835"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vagus.cz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=8835"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}